is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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