This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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