oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
