I accidentally had phone sex last night
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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