The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
