he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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