i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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