ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
