I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
