Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Text me some of your sweat
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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