If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
