1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Nicole vs. Life
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
