Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
