Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
