She's JV to your varsity
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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