I have demons in me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
