i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
