so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
