it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
