Taylor Swift is so right about you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize