I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
