Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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