is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize