just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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