No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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