Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
