Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
