420 ftw
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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