My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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