420 ftw
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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