break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
North Korea, Best Korea!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
