It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
