I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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