She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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