My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
