Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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