You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
