can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
