i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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