escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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