im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Damn victory sex feels great
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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