420 ftw
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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