There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
