ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
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Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
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Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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