i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dick very happy bro
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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