Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
