Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
