used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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