singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
