I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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