last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
