pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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