Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I need to calm my uterus...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
