i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just want nice things and good sex
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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