Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize