apparently the secret to your success is patron
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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