false alarm. still invincible.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
