ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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