you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
