I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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