You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Houston, we have a squirter
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
