i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize