in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Randomize
