At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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