i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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