If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
