My first STD was from a foam party
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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